Love Kills
Starlight and amber streetlights
Lit up the dismal highways of my life
Not knowing exactly when it would all end
Just running some crazed marathon not expecting to win
Cold, wet pavement and dark, cloudy skies
Surrounded everything visible to the eyes
Heavy breathing and tight air pipes
Death gripped the lungs tight
Tears and sweat soaked the outerwear
Bare feet pounding the cement without a care
No end in sight, just infinity
Such a bleak sight to see
Pain ripped through the muscles and joints
Knuckles bleeding from crawling unable to point
Raindrops smaller than the tears that poured
Fell from the darkened sky and still lacked a cure
To the heated face and soul that continued on
Staccato movements off beat to saddened songs
Grey clouds floated in front of the face
Disregarded by the vision of a determined pace
Love had to be on the other side of night
Inner peace just had to be equated with light
Litter cut into the soles of their bare feet
No pain could be greater than defeat
Finally death gripped their physical and soul
There was no escaping the ferocious hold
The end had come and well before sunrise
Nothing left but to unleash satanic-like cries
Screams went unheard muffled by death
After running for so long no fight was left
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This is a poem I wrote in my sophomore year in high school for my mother. Although I say strong “Black” women, I believe that all women of all races are strong women. Happy Mother’s Day to all the mothers and mother figures.
Strong Black Women
As strong black women, we have eyes that can explore the depths of anyone’s soul
Our hands are soft and worn from having washed and scrubbed toilet bowls
The ears by which we hear have heard all the lies and truths of the world
Our tastes in food, style, and music have changed since we were little girls
We help raise our brothers, sisters, and cousins
So they can also become strong black women and men
Our hearts have carried burdens and hate
Our tongues are like fire and can never wait
Whether we have foul mouths or not
Our point gets to those that have forgot
That we are strong black women
Whether we are coated in baggy jeans or a miniskirt
Inside it’s that same hurt
Disrespected and put down for so long
We had to retaliate and become strong
No more of the whining
And asking for wining and dining
We pay our own way
And there’s strength in everything we say
We are becoming a majority in the college and business scene
We want to be heard and seen
So that everyone knows that we are strong black women
Our skin tones range from milk to caramel to chocolate
And there is beauty in every pore, so no one can forget
Our face or name
We impact men and other women just the same
See there’s intelligence in our minds
And divine poise in our spines
We were made to carry beauty and define it
That’s right. They’re Maybelline. We were born with it.
Our virtues and intellect don’t change with the fashions
Nor do we disrespect ourselves for a moment of passion
Because we are strong black women
We have endured the most pain presently and in the past
Because we are black, and we were created last
When we succeed in the world, men question their manliness
They make it harder for us even though we offer friendliness
But now we are climbing bigger mountains and frying bigger fish
Our realities are becoming bigger than we ever dreamed or wished
We believe that there is no limit and no obstacle we can’t overcome
Because dreams were restricted with obstacles where we are from
We work hard to keep ourselves above the murky waters of society
So to prevent future erosion and floods we stand as oak and maple trees
Reminders that we are strong black women
If the men were men, then we wouldn’t have to fill their roles
For our sons, we wouldn’t have to fill those empty holes
In doing this, we show not only them, but other nonbelievers
That we can be more than fabulous divas but focused achievers
From Ms. Tubman to the first black female President of the U.S.
We will continue to defy the odds and fight for success
Whether we paint it in a picture or write it in poetry
Or say it in a speech or personify it in a story
Whether we sing it in a song or rock it on a chain
Or take a picture of it and put it in a frame
It’s all the same message; we are strong black women
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I was in a long-term relationship at this time. That person and I had been through a lot and I had gotten to the point when what had brought us together couldn’t keep us together. I know some of you all have been there.
Faded smiles aged by pain
Sunrays hidden behind clouds and rain
Moments held dear lost in the abyss
The warm sensation gone from a kiss
How did we get here?
What brought us together
Can’t keep us together
Waves of uncertainty took out castle of sand
Too weak from the hurt to stand
How did we get here?
Was it all a façade?
Never written in the plan of God?
Maybe it was a phase held on for too long
We’ve been believing in something so wrong
How did we get here?
Loving each other from a distance
Knowing a flame will light in an instant
If we were to meet again
But the cycle must end
How did we get here?
If we are meant to be
Then let us be
If not, let us let it go
It won’t matter that we won’t know
How did we get here?
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This is a more recent piece. Unfortunately, it is still relevant. It’s about loving someone that you can’t have. Even if they understood the magnitude of your affection, they still couldn’t love you the way you desired. Yeah. This one makes my heart hurt.
I can’t make you love me
But I will make you miss me
There is no love greater than mine
You can search and never find
Look into my eyes and see my soul
There and only there your heart I hold
I desire only you
What am I to do
Kisses on your face
Passionately, no haste
Just give unto me
Just lay upon me
Open your hand and there I place
Silk wrapped love embroidered with lace
But you will not, cannot
Should but choose not
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This piece is about a relationship & love I had to keep secret. I may still be in this situation, but I will never tell.
Feelings so pure and young
Held deep within unsung
Pain from it scratching to become free
Muffled so no one can hear or see
Captive yet far from tamed
Wild and far from sane
Metal cuffs cold
And soaked blindfold
Entrapped against its will
Never allowed the chance to heal
Knuckles bleeding and throat sore
From the sobs that rocked its core
It just wanted to be free and seen
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This was the first poem I ever wrote for leisure. I dealt with more than a normal fifth or sixth grader. I don’t care to give the details, but I feel as if this piece is self-explanatory. It’s a very simple poem but it saddens me every time I read it.
Running Away
As I ran
Rain soaked my clothes
My bare feet pound the wet, muddy ground
The cold wind chills my face
I stop
I look at the sky
The heavens are crying
I run faster and faster
God is crying
Because I am Running Away
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This is probably the most painful poem I ever wrote, hence; I never finished it. My Daddy met me when I was 3months old. My father was killed before I was born. But my Daddy raised me as if I was his own, and yes, I will admit better than his own children. We had an unbreakable bond and he was my everything. The summer before my sophomore year in high school, he suffered a seizure, stroke, and went into a coma after a small surgical procedure. My mother knew my hurt and she told me to write him a poem and read it to him. I wrote it but I never read it to him. Even though, he came out of his coma months later, I couldn’t. This poem has never been read by anyone else, not even my mother. My Daddy passed away on April 21, 2008. Since that anniversary is approaching, I felt it was only right to post this. To be truthfully honest, I am crying as I type this introduction. It hurts just as it had three years ago. He believed in me and my gift, and I miss him dearly. One day I will join him in the Purple Rain. Rest in peace, Willie Lee Anderson.
Dedicated to Daddy
Together we have laughed and cried
But as I watch you now I wonder why
Do good people deserve the anguish and pain
And the ones that said they’d be there never came
But as I watch you now in your blue and white cloak
I want to soak
In my tears
Realizing my fears
But as I watch you know my soul withers and heart
Breaks apart
Your mighty voice no longer heard
But I sit by your bed waiting for a single word
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This is a poem that I wrote for Tupac Shakur when I was younger. I have always admired him, and will always be a fan.
Everyday that passes
I think of you
And the knowledge that you’ve poured in my glasses
Every second I thank you
My soul shakes at the sound of your name
You have stayed by my side when I thought I couldn’t make it through
Although it took your death for me to see and understand the light
That shone from your lyrics
I comprehend your sacrifice to allow me to have a deeper eyesight
I love you as you hated the world and its naiveté
Your spirit resides in my heart
And your inspiration remains a part of my reality
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I don’t remember which relationship this was, but it applies to a few. It was most likely written in high school. I was in love with this person, but I felt as if they didn’t deserve me, and I was settling.
Good Enough
Love is something real to me
But consistency
Is all you see
No progress
Is the only process you want
My advances to push you heart closer
Receive no response but taunts
Why am I wasting my time on good enough?
All the anguish and disrespect I have suffered is enough
Enough to pull me closer to you
My emotions are so weak that what you want they do
The psychological scars are so deep that I received
That they remain even when you leave
Will I continue to settle for the good enough
And continue to be treated unfairly and rough
All I ever wanted was that fairytale
But every charming prince failed
I just want someone to hold me
Console me
Someone to treat me like their queen
And only for me he would feign
In return he would be treated like my king
I would give him all the compassion I could bring
But you treat me differently
Playing games like I could not see
On that “Do as I say, not as I do”
But that was the only time that I disobeyed you
I can sit around all day and wait for your heart
But deep within I know that I may meet love in Wal-Mart
My prince charming may just be out there
With soft, warm eyes and curly hair
But I will not know until I open my eyes
And get rid of you and your lies
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I wrote this for a boyfriend in my senior year of high school. I had a lot of failed relationships with the opposite sex prior, and frankly painful events in my life made me very timid of opening up to just about anybody. I was fully aware of my own inhibitions, yet I wanted to overcome them.
So Afraid
I fear your tender touch
And the sweet words you speak
For I am afraid that I may fall
Fall into your passionate brown eyes
Where nothing but your true feelings lie
I fear your kiss
So tempting and enduring
You puller me closer is what I am fearing
I am not afraid of love
Or am I
But I know that I am going to try
Try to let go of my constraints
And embrace the concept of a relationship
But I think that this is deeper than any companionship
Maybe that’s what’s holding me midair
The fear of my future being before me
Something that was once hard to see
I am afraid that I will permit my dream to slip away
I fear losing your tender touch, sweet words, tempting kiss
But I allow my fear to beat you with stinging fists
Please don’t refrain from looking at me with unjudging eyes
Please don’t stop holding me
Don’t stop loving me
For I fear losing the only thing right
The only dream that has come true
I am afraid of not being one with you
Since you are the one that I fantasized
Created in my mind and decided that for you I would patiently wait
Wait for my friend, lover, and soulmate
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Now, this poem makes me smile. Also, written my senior year in high school. I wrote this for a man I will never stop loving. An interesting fact is he actually “wrote” a poem for me, and I wrote this as a response.
When I think of you
My skies can’t help but turn blue
This is the realist thing that I’ve ever felt
When I see your face I just melt
I think of my future and I think about you
With a big house, nice cars, and kids – maybe two
I think of the past and say how dumb could I be
To think that any other man than you would end up with me
But here you are in my future, past, and present
All of the love that I have expressed I have meant
You ask how far would I go and what would I do
I answer that I would go to hell to be with you, too
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I wrote a lot of happy love poems for the man I will always love during the span of our relationship. This is another one. I’m all smiles.
Definition of Love
When I think of love
I envision the nights I watched you sleep
And staring at you with tear-filled eyes.
The feeling encompasses me like your strong arms
And I become weak
Never wanting to let go because I may stumble.
Love is as sweet as the kisses you place on my lips
And as bitter as watching you leave.
When I think of love,
I think of the times we made passionate love
And the moments I wanted to slap your face.
Love comes with joy and pain.
I would rather share a lifetime of bliss and hurt with you than be with another.
Real love is the love that stands the test of time and tribulations.
You are love
And together we are LOVE
-To the LOVE of my LIFE and the PEACE in my HEART
Just Kaz LLC 