How in the hell do you comfort your 11yo when her best friend (12yo) dies suddenly? What do you say? It is so much easier to explain an older relative dying. They lived their life and it was time, or they were sick for so long it was time. But how do I explain to my child who had just seen her best friend that same fateful day that this is all God’s plan? Let’s be real. No matter how young you are in the church you can’t fully understand or respect God’s will until you’re older. What kind of plan required to take a 12yo girl battling the flu? These aren’t questions my daughter is asking me. These are the questions in my mind because I know they are ripping her mind apart. And I just want to prepare myself to have a solid answer for her. But I come up with nothing. She left school early because she wasn’t feeling good and was dead that same night. HOW DO I CONSOLE MY CHILD? Now, every single cough, runny nose, or fever will have her freaking the fuck out. Shit. I just had a full blown panic attack just the other day because I couldn’t breathe and I rushed to the my PCP because first of all I’m not paying ER prices for a panic attack. I had them test me for the flu and pneumonia. Of course, I was perfectly fine. But I am 32yo. My kid is 11yo. I’m certain the situation would’ve been blown all out of proportion.
I think I’m digressing from my original point.
This is the most difficult task for a parent. Definitely not as hard as the mother that lost her baby girl. My heart broke into tiny pieces when I saw my daughter crying and then to see all of the little girl’s classmates sobbing into their mother’s bosoms and refusing to view the body. The tears flowed from my face. I hurt for these young children that don’t understand, I hurt for my baby girl, and I hurt for the mother that lost her child. I’m a Pisces so I tend to feel a lot.
My daughter has a crush. My daughter will eventually turn into a woman. And unfortunately, this woman will not get to chance to feel the anxiety of puberty or prom or dating boys. That fucking sucks.
I say all that to say kiss your babies. Tell your babies you love them no matter how old they are. Hold your babies. Because in the world we live in there’s not even a guarantee that they will make it home from school alive.
RIP Ja’Kyah Lenay Hayes (Jan 8 2006 – March 1 2018)
I don’t know you but I can see the effect you made on my daughter, and I love you for being such a dear part of her life.
Just Kaz LLC 