Due to me missing out on childhood things, I fought hard to remain young. Promising myself that I would enjoy childhood pleasures even while being an adult. I felt I needed to make up for lost time. In hindsight, that’s most likely why I got my DUI. I’m sure I have already expressed the devastation of a DUI conviction to my readers. Because I wanted to relive my childish ways, I got into a lot of trouble as an adult. Lost my drivers license for five years and had to go to jail, therapy, and VASAP. I lost my car not because I couldn’t afford it. I lost my Blue Magic because I couldn’t renew the registration on a car without a valid license, and I couldn’t afford to get it out of impound after thirty or more days. No car. No license. And a single mother.
My therapist revealed to me that I like pain. And I am afraid of losing happiness so I avoid happiness at all costs. But no matter how hard I tried I just could not escape. I’m always being forced into uncomfortable situations. I’m always forced to be patient for the things I want. I hate waiting.
My thirty-first birthday recently passed. I am no longer a child and I must do away with childish things because I have my own family to take care of. I am entering another phase of life, and I have to have faith that every step I take is premeditated by some higher being that knows more than me. Otherwise, I will crash and burn and never witness my full potential.
Just Kaz LLC 