A day where I wash my ass and put on clean clothes and attempt to do something to my hair is a good one. Bipolar 2 disorder is a very horrendous rollercoaster ride. Some days (most days) I would love to just lay in the bed hiding under my covers. Ass could be tart and underarms musty and mouth tasting like garbage and I would be uncaring. But as I am typing this I am ashamed. Frankly, I’m not sure if I’m going to post this on my site. Everyday. Every single fuckin day, I have to make the conscious decision to battle my illness and be productive. I have two children that depend on me so I have to fight. I will admit that some days I succumb and I will call out sick from work and fix my kid ravioli out of a can because I don’t feel like cooking. Side note: when I was breastfeeding my son was the hardest. I couldn’t just microwave him a boob. No, I had to hold him and feed him every two hours. It was difficult but I did it. I reflect on days when my anxiety was so bad I couldn’t even leave my apartment. So the days that I am able to walk outside to take out the trash is a damn good day. A even better day is when I wash my ass and put on clothes (even if they don’t match). Today just happens to be one of those days. Not perfect but better than some days. I encourage everyone to celebrate their successes daily no matter how minuscule or taken for granted it is. Like J. Cole said, “there is beauty in the struggle.” And that is why I share my truths with you.
Yours Truly,
Kaz
Just Kaz LLC 